After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
