I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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