We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
