I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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