she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
