your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
