i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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