actually, I'm a sock model
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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