Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
