I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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