My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
