that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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