you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
