Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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