We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
