Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
