evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
