If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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