operation have a gay friend backfired
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
