I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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