that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am midnight drunk by noon
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
