Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
