Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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