Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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