you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
