Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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