i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
