Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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