Its about making memories worth repressing
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
