I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
