i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
