So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
