So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
