We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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