My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
