I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
