just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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