I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
