If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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