She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
