Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my sisters under your porch take her home
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
