Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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