I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
