Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
