R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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