Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
