Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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