I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
