so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
