i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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